Thongs and Lawsuits

Posted by Nixon on June 18th, 2008 filed in News

Google Trend #33 - Thong Injury

Los Angeles, CA - Macrida Patterson is hurting and she’s suing. The Traffic Officer with the Los Angeles Department of Transportation is suing the Victoria’s Secret lingerie people for injuries suffered when her thong malfunctioned.

According to the plaintiff, she was putting on her thong underwear, when a decorative metallic piece on the underwear flew off and hit her in the eye. Patterson sustained an abrasion on her cornea, and she’s dealing with pain and suffering.

Her lawyer calls it a “design problem.” The lawyer also refused to produce said underwear for the court and for Victoria’s Secret.

No word on the exact monetary amount Patterson is seeking.

So, other than giving me an opportunity to use that thong shot. Lets think about this.  A decorative metallic piece of your thong flies off and hits you in the eye.  Question 1) Are we talking about a sequin here? Because a sequined thong would be hot… if you are a stripper - however it says she is a “traffic officer”.  So that mean LA by-law enforcers are wearing sequined g-strings under their uniform?  If so, that is many a guy’s dream vice I can tell you right now.  Question 2) What the hell are you doing that could cause a sequin to fly off and hit you in the eye?  Something kinky I bet (oh come on, like you can picture a way to get a thong sequin in the eye without it being kinky?). Question 3) Why would the lawyer refuse to produce the thong in court? I need to see pictures of this on The Smoking Gun or Perez Hilton.

These are important questions which need to be answered.  Anythingvice will follow-up with the LA PD to determine the true cause of the sequined g-string incident.