Thanks Xaxen..

Wicked.

Benny Benassi - Who’s Your Daddy

Alex Gaudino feat. Crystal Waters - Destination Calabria

Eric Prydz - Call On Me

Google Trend #33 - Thong Injury

Los Angeles, CA - Macrida Patterson is hurting and she’s suing. The Traffic Officer with the Los Angeles Department of Transportation is suing the Victoria’s Secret lingerie people for injuries suffered when her thong malfunctioned.

According to the plaintiff, she was putting on her thong underwear, when a decorative metallic piece on the underwear flew off and hit her in the eye. Patterson sustained an abrasion on her cornea, and she’s dealing with pain and suffering.

Her lawyer calls it a “design problem.” The lawyer also refused to produce said underwear for the court and for Victoria’s Secret.

No word on the exact monetary amount Patterson is seeking.

So, other than giving me an opportunity to use that thong shot. Lets think about this.  A decorative metallic piece of your thong flies off and hits you in the eye.  Question 1) Are we talking about a sequin here? Because a sequined thong would be hot… if you are a stripper - however it says she is a “traffic officer”.  So that mean LA by-law enforcers are wearing sequined g-strings under their uniform?  If so, that is many a guy’s dream vice I can tell you right now.  Question 2) What the hell are you doing that could cause a sequin to fly off and hit you in the eye?  Something kinky I bet (oh come on, like you can picture a way to get a thong sequin in the eye without it being kinky?). Question 3) Why would the lawyer refuse to produce the thong in court? I need to see pictures of this on The Smoking Gun or Perez Hilton.

These are important questions which need to be answered.  Anythingvice will follow-up with the LA PD to determine the true cause of the sequined g-string incident.

“Before the winter darkness descended over Antarctica, a US research base received one crucial final delivery, according to a report today - a consignment of 16,488 condoms.

A year’s supply of the prophylactics was despatched last month to the McMurdo station, on the southern tip of Ross island, the New Zealand newspaper the Press reported.

The last staff flight out of McMurdo before winter set in was on February 26. Workers will now have to wait until August 20 for the first sunrise of the spring.

As the biggest settlement in Antarctica, the research station had a summertime population of around 1,000, but this dropped to about 125 in winter, the paper quoted its manager, Bill Henriksen, as saying.

“There are some people that tend to get a little bit bored. But for the most part, people who come down here know how to occupy their time,” he said.”

I never knew scientists liked sex so much.  A year’s supply of condoms is 16,488?  If we assume that for 6 months of the year there are 500 males in Antarctica and 63 for 6 months that is an average of 282 guys at the McMurdo research station on any day. And 16,488 condoms is equal to 45 condoms per day being used. Which means on any given day an average of 16% of the male population of Antarctica get laid.  I like those odds.  That is assuming 1) hetrosexual sex - if there is a lot of gay sex then the percentage will go down (two condoms used you see…) and 2) that only one condom per night is used which I guess may be incorrect seeing that scientists apparently really really like sex.  Especially during the 6 months of darkness.

Travel to remote and exotic destinations, where one can spend the GDP of a small African country for a one week stay is certainly one of my vices.

If you wanted to impress someone, don’t take them to New York, Prague, London or Ibiza.  Take them to an island in the South Pacific. Take them to Bora Bora.  Even the name Bora Bora stirs visions of palm trees, crystal clear water and luxurious surroundings. 

Bora Bora is an island in the Society Islands of French Polynesia and is an overseas territory of France.  We’re talking some grade A hotels available.  The St. Regis Resort Bora Bora will run you US$1400 a night and has a spa which is located on its own private island.

I’d rather stay at the Bora Bora Pearl Beach Resort and Spa which features 570 sq ft bungalows situated over water. You don’t even need to rough it, the bungalows come with air conditioning, cable and all the mod-cons which you’ll need to impress your special friend.  If the over-water “fare” (Polynesian for home) doesn’t act as an aphrodesiac then nothing will.  So tranquil and perfect is the island that almost 5,000 American soliders were “forced” to leave following the end of WWII after they didn’t want to leave their station (and they didn’t even have chicks with them).

Part of the beauty of Bora Bora is its remote location. This ain’t Orlando. For those of you on the west coast, I’d recommend a flight out of LA on Air France or Air New Zealand into Tahiti.  It’ll take about 8.5 hours from LA. East Coasters - fly through LA with Air Tahiti for 11 hrs.  If you want to add a stop in Honolulu to take in some of the Aloha spirit, Bora Bora is only 5.5 hours from Waikiki beach.  You come into Tahiti and then transfer on a little puddle jumper courtesty of Air Tahiti for a hour long flight into Bora Bora.

How much is that going to run you?  Plan on $2000 for economy airfare (as if) and about $4500 - $5500 for business class.  The 2008 rate for the Bora Bora Pearl Beach is US$818/night for an overwater bungalow and US$1035/night for a premium overwater bungalow.  Figure on $150/per person per day for food (you have to eat at the hotel, only place on the island).  So we’re talking about $17,000 for a one week stay in paradise for two, all in.  Can’t beat it.

I think we can all agree that chicks showing off their tits is fun for everyone involved, especially if proceedings are recorded and put on the internet for eternity.  Sure Ashley Dupre could have made $1 million bucks getting naked for Mr. Francis and Girls Gone Wild after bringing down the Governor of New York, but oh wait, she had already gotten naked for Girls Gone Wild, for, you guessed it, a tank top.

So, what do I see when checking out Google’s Hot Trends for today? In rank 46: “Girls Gone Wild Magazine”.  A magazine? Girls gone wild? That is tres web 0.2 no?  The Google Trend was in relation to the latest reality TV show ”Bachelor” (that is a vice for another day) winner Shayne Lamas being the latest covergirl for the GGW magazine.

I was more interested that the Girls Gone Wild media empire had a print magazine then checking out mildly titilating shots of the magazine cover.  Apparently, the GGW mag’s first edition came out April 14th, 2008 and had a whopping 14 pages, for $9.99. Now unless your vice is paying too much for a print skin magazine with features like The Search for the Wildest Bar” and “The Insane Life of a Girls Gone Wild Camera Man” and then some shots of a couple of college girls’ tits, I would suggest you look for naked girls ON THE INTERNET.  The Girls Gone Wild franchise has gone from videos to a website to a print magazine?  Man, Joe Francis, listen dude, here is some free advice, save on the production cost of all those glossy pages and just keep finding 18 and 19 year old girls to exploit before they grow up enough to learn better.  Oh wait, Francis is too busy fighting a government indictment for tax evasion…

In other news, watch out for AnythingVice’s premier print edition, coming out Jan 09 with features such as “The Search for the Wildest Webpage” and “The Crazy Life of a AnythingVice Writer”.

Silvia Sheridan has some decent bonus codes on her site and suggests poker web sites such as Full Tilt, Party Poker and some ones I haven’t heard of such as Titan Poker.

What can Silvia do for you as an “agent”? Well apparently she can help you choose a poker room, helps you find bonuses and free rolls, and will give you some of her bonuses.

Not bad….

Now if she was into strip poker, you’d have a three star vice combo.

And if greed is good, then making money through investing is good. Problem is, there is a preponderance of “social” investing vehicles, which are differentiated from most investment vehicles in that they are not set up to make money, but to make the investor feel good. Most do not actually make people money at all!

Socialfunds.com gives hints on socially responsible investing, Socialinvest.org is advancing socially and environmentally responsible investing, you can’t look at a list of mutual funds without finding investments that make a difference like Calvert’s Socially Responsible Mutual Funds. But when investing, is being “socially conscious” your number one priority? Wouldn’t you like to make some money? Given that most “social investments” trailed the S&P 500 return significantly over the past year, there must be a better way.

Perhaps, if you subscribe to the greed is good theory, you should be looking at alternative investments such as the Vice Fund, which invests in companies, both domestic and foreign, engaged in the aerospace and defense industries, owners and operators of casinos and gaming facilities, manufacturers of gaming equipment such as slot machines, manufacturers of cigarettes and other tobacco products, and brewers, distillers, vintners and producers of other alcoholic beverages. The Vice Fund returned 4.4% last year and would have been beaten by only 1 out of 34 socially responsible investments listed on socialinvest.org. Charts don’t lie:

Now if only I could be in a video like that someday. ;) Also if you haven’t checked out Spank Rock before it’s great to crank while cruising.